Friday, 30 May 2014

30. What's Something Not Many Know?

Hmmm... I'm guess that not many people know that the Opossums never stop growing (something I did not know but learned here... .

Of course everything we read on the internet is true, so given that assumption I'm guessing the person who wrote that knows of what they're speaking. 

I am also guessing that this blog challenge question might not be so general and in fact might be more aimed at telling people something they may not know about me?   Given that assumption I suppose I could indulge  that interpretation of the blog challenge question.  Hopefully some will find it slightly more interesting then the Opossum knowledge, but I make no promises. 

I failed two courses in college when I was an undergraduate at Susquehanna University in Selinsgrove, PA.  I failed Using Computers the first time I took it and I failed my Algebra 2 course the first time I took it.  I also failed to complete my History degree in Graduate School which I was pursuing along with my Library Science degree.  Once I had the Library Science degree I stopped going to my History courses and stopped trying to complete my Master's paper in history.  When I was half way through my History Master's Thesis the professor who was assigned to me as my guide for my paper moved away to Germany.  I was told I could correspond with the professor over the internet via e-mail and I had no desire to do that.  I also made no effort to push the school for an alternative option which is something I regret considering how close I was to completing my degree.  The two courses I failed as an undergraduate I received a B in the second time I took them. 

Why do I bring these failures up?  Well... because it's easy in life to talk about our successes and the things we are proud of.  It's not always very easy to come to grips with and talk openly about our failures.  I was so embarrassed about not completing my History Degree in Graduate School that I simply let my mother and other family members believe I had completed it for a while.  It's funny, in writing it now I'm not sure I told all of them, even though I believe I told Robert, Clifford and Heather before I told mom.  It's so easy to want to tell the people we love and even strangers about the things we succeeded in, are proud of or excel at.  It's a lot harder to talk about those things we did not complete or failed miserably in.  That's magnified when we consider our desire to impress or please or make proud another person.

When I finally told my mom about not completing my History Masters degree I was surprised a bit that she was not angry at all with me for letting her believe I had completed it.  Part of me wanted her to be angry because I was angry at myself.  But I think that in a way the ease with which she took the news sent me a different message and I learned an important lesson in the process.  The people I love most support me through my successes and my failure's equally.  It's why they're my family and why they're my friends.   We need to trust the people who we love.  I'm not suggesting that everyone who we love and keep a secret from reacts with immediate acceptance and understanding.  What I am saying is that in spite of disappointments or the fears of letting down the people we love, that we let ourselves down when we keep something from them.

I know too that people keep secrets that they would consider a lot more personal or difficult to reveal then what I've spoken about here.   The pressures we all feel are different and unique to ourselves and our situations.  I think I speak for most people when I say that the secrets kept from our loved ones over time seem to weigh on us more the longer we keep them.  That is unless we are able to reason to ourselves that the secret kept is not that important for anyone else to know.

For my secret it's importance was with me.  What others felt about me was what it was.  What I thought about it was where the agitation and disappointment and fear built up.  So IF you are feeling that personal weight of keeping a secret from someone you love and chose to speak it to them or write it to them or reveal to them in some way, I'm not going to say that it will solve all your problems... but what it will do is help you find out something about your loved one and something about yourself too in the process.  There is no guarantee to the release of that weight you feel when releasing a secret kept... but revealing it at least provides the opportunity to relieve yourself of that weight.  Do you wish to take the chance and speak it?  Or do you wish to keep your secrets to you?  It's a cost benefit analysis we must all make. 


  1. I had forgotten about how you failed history. I failed a couple of classes in college as well. I think failure is a shock in college because for some it is the first time they failed at something.

  2. I think we all let ourselves down some times. I think when I keep my let downs quiet they can become emotionally crippling. When I speak them ( I don't need to speak them over and over again or dwell on them) and at least acknowledge them it's a bit easier for me to move on from them and not carry that albatross.


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